My best side

From time to time I see adverts for diets. These normally involve two photos: a before and after shot with the after featuring the dieter either looking slim (or at least, slimmer) in a flattering outfit or wearing an item from their pre-diet wardrobe, holding out the waist band to demonstrate the difference. The before shot often seems to feature the dieter wearing their skimpiest, most ill-fitting outfit, maybe a bikini… I assume that these are the photos that finally made the dieter realise that the days of blaming puppy fat or describing themselves as having big bones had to end. I am sure the after photo is a matter of pride, but personally I feel I’d not want to look at my before photo, ever, unless to remind myself (having recovered a lost pound or two) exactly what the end of the slippery slope looks like. It’s embarrassing, surely, to be reminded of past failures, lapses, youthful idiocies and indiscretions: we like to move on.

I think this is one reason why I’ve been so bad at making the recordings that were the intended purpose of this blog, the reason for it being web-based instead of another in my pile of paper notebooks. Firstly I always want to have the best possible recording: not necessarily wanting the equivalent of a photo that makes me look half a stone lighter and three years younger, but at least not wanting the equivalent of a photo of me caught  the hop, squinting at something, my hair unbrushed, spinach on my teeth…

Secondly, once I have got that snapshot of my playing, which I am always disappointed in from the outset, I find looking back at those embarrassing. Can that be me? Fluffing that phrase there, mangling that grace note, playing so very slowly? Even at the time I find the recordings hard to listen to and to listen to them after a period of time is just too much. So I don’t listen to them.

The third reason has always been that recording is reasonably time consuming and setting up the recorder, recording, mastering tracks, transferring them to Chirbit, linking them back to a blog post – which has too be written  – all take up good piping time. It also takes some of my concentrations, breaks the flow of playing, of moving from one tune to another.

I think I should try though, just to remind me, if I have a day where I fluff a note or a grace note I’m happy with, how far I’ve come.