Nightmare

There is a point where a tune wriggles its way into my consciousness in a way that means it bubbles along under everything else. It’s there of its own accord and sometimes it takes a while for me to notice it, and sometimes I have to stop what I am doing to listen to it, to hear what tune it is.

I say “hear” although it isn’t something in my ears, just in my mind. But it’s independent of my conscious mind. Once I’ve noticed it’s there I can make a decision to temporarily stop it, although once I go back to thinking of other things it will bubble through again. I can also make a decision to switch to another tune, although again the first tune might come back once I’ve taken my attention away.

Sometimes there is a previous stage, before the tune has embedded itself. The tune is in my head, but somehow requires my attention to keep it going, at least, I feel that it does, and somehow it is important not to let the tune stop. This seems most often to happen overnight. I feel as though I am constantly being woken by the tune, and the need to keep the tune going, and somehow it feels as though there is an almost physical effort on my part to keep the tune moving. There is certainly an element of concentration. I’m not sure whether I am, or feel I am, needing to pick the next note along, as if I were playing the piece, or whether the note is there, I just need to make the effort to hear it.

It happened last night with the Horse. I feel as though I’ve been awake half the night, flogging that horse along. At one point I think there was another tune, possibly Cottage, and I was keeping the pair of them going, like spinning plates.

Once I woke up I was busy listening to the radio, getting ready to go out, driving to work, chatting to a colleague, tracking down some stuff, concentrating on a number of things and not noticing if I had a tune or not until I went to make a mug of tea. As I stood waiting for the kettle to boil had The Women of the Glen in my head. Later in the day it was Cottage again, but somehow at an embryonic stage. It runs in my head but once I stop to listen to it then it stops, unless I consciously think how it goes next, which I suppose is what is happening with the new tunes in my sleep.

I’d be interested to find some research on this as I can’t be the only person who has had this experience. Oh, and I played this evening...