Relativity

The fan says he’s noticed, being away for a week, how I have improved. I have not noticed. I keep wanting to feel that surely I must have improved, over the months, but I can’t feel certain of it. I suppose it’s seeing something every day. It’s when you don’t see a friend for ages that you notice a weight change, or grey hairs: when we see ourselves every day the changes are so gradual we think we’re the same as ever. Only sometimes, looking at old photos, perhaps, and thinking how young we looked, way back then.

 

The rate of change also changes. We’ve lived in our village for 11 years. It feels like forever and also five minutes. We’ve not changed. So I am always surprised when I find out that a neighbour’s little girl is now at University or is expecting a baby. The difference between four and 15, between 10 and 21, between 17 and 28 are far greater than the differences for those of us who have moved from being <cough> to <cough>. Similarly I suppose that picking up a chanter and getting two notes out of it was like taking first baby steps, and picking up pipes for the first time perhaps like learning to ride a bike. There’s a clear difference between one who can and can’t walk or ride a bike, but once you’ve grasped the basics it’s harder to see the difference between one who has been cycling a month and one who has been at it for years. It all comes at once, and then any improvement (or deterioration) is slow and unseen. I was going to say “unless you ride the Tour de France” but actually, the basic cycling skills are the same and what stops me being able to do that is not a lack of ability on the bike riding front, but a lack of fitness and stamina. Even Mark Cavendish only sits on a bike, holds the handlebars and pushes the pedals with his feet, the same as a 4 year old hurtling round their back garden or an old gent cycling very slowly to the corner shop.

 

So I think I’m saying, I must be getting better. Surely I’m a better player than I was 6 months ago, a year ago. It’s just that I can’t see it, because I am living it. I only know for sure that I am a better player than I was in November 2011 when I couldn’t play at all. Although the place I do notice an improvement is at sessions, where my stage fright has gone away, I can remember tunes, I can pitch in and play without having to wait to be invited, and maybe that’s because sessions are monthly so I have clear change points to note. So maybe I am getting better. Relatively.

 

30 minutes today, Monkey in D, with and without drones. Briefly round Alick, Whaling, and Dragon, but mostly Somme, over and over, and over...